


Promises

by Takaata



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: M/M, Oral Sex, Trans!Aaron, Vaginal Penetration, brief mention of Tilda's abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 17:57:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20451218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Takaata/pseuds/Takaata
Summary: Their relationship was new, but intense, and now Aaron has to learn how to navigate his life again after Kevin's departure into the US Court. It has been months, and Abby is kind enough open her doors up to Neil and the cousins for Christmas. Aaron knew, deep down, that Kevin would also show his face but the reality did not make it any easier.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a repost of a fic that I deleted a few months ago, since I kept getting yelled at for removing it.
> 
> Same warnings apply:  
Trans!Aaron, explicit sex scene and female anatomy terms used, although I tried to be as vague as possible
> 
> I'm @dickclams on twitter, you can come scream at me there.  
Thanks!

It had been four months, two weeks and three days since Matt and Kevin’s graduation ceremony, but who was counting. Aaron marked days off the calendar as if they were nothing; an endless checkbook to showcase an otherwise boring life since their departure. Aaron had never shown much interest in maintaining good relations with the team and, beyond a few select gatherings in the recreation room, he had maintained his reputation. 

It was stupid. Many things were stupid, though. Like how breaking up with Katelyn almost a year ago arguably upset him more than his mother’s death, or how Kevin’s absence felt like an ulcer in his stomach on the worst of days. There seemed to be such a lack of foresight in Aaron’s life; so much carelessness and absent mindedness in the world and Aaron had since learnt that an act of carelessness can kill you. The true weakness was lacking perspective. 

Aaron knew he did, too. He was the most important thing in his life, now more than ever before, and with Kevin, Katelyn and his mother all gone, Andrew’s presence became little more than a metaphorical sheet covering the springed rise of his mattress of life. Aaron learnt that he had to be central to whatever it was that he chose to do, which included who to love and whom to care for. 

He knew he had made too many mistakes to be considered, in any way shape or form, an advice guru but he did know for certain that to give himself to another person was suicide. Katelyn had been the first, but Kevin had taken almost all of Aaron away with him when he left. 

Aaron always found Kevin very difficult to describe when asked. He carried his picture with him sometimes; kept it in the back of his phone case like a grieving widow but Aaron claimed it was to jog his memory than through any real kind of sentiment. He knew he loved Kevin, even now, and Aaron knew that there was a subconscious part of him that was waiting to love Kevin even before they met. He wouldn’t ever dare voice those thoughts however, and decided to crush them under his fingernails like cracker dust before throwing the lot of it down the hatch without even a second thought. Nicky was the romanticist, not him, and Renee was the one who boasted about being reborn. 

There was a part of Aaron which felt as if he needed to speak about Kevin in the past tense, which made no sense, since he and Kevin kept up fairly frequent contact. Not as much as Aaron might have liked in the beginning, but the ‘once a week, to once every two weeks’ schedule was enough to satisfy his otherwise dying sense of affection. Since being left to fend off the disinterest of life by himself, Aaron had moved back into the room 317 with his family and Neil. It was uncomfortable in the beginning, but with Katelyn no longer a constant in his life, it meant that he and Andrew could sometimes look one another in the eye. It felt a little like one step forward and two steps back, but Aaron was learning how to find some worth in himself again. 

However, not everything had changed in the mania of the last year; he and Nicky were inseparable on the good days and their weekly trips into alcoholic nirvana were of no exception. Andrew drove them there, Aaron flagged down their passes and Nicky would lead Neil to their usual spot. Andrew and Neil would stay close and it was up to Nicky and Aaron to waste the night away on the dance floor with miscellaneous bodies and sticky tiles.

Aaron knew how to go too far until a body was just a body and green eyes were just that; a handsome face was a bonus but the low lights and Aaron’s haze were enough of a veil for his imagination to make up the rest. There would be a mess and Aaron’s lips would be plump by the time he and Nicky reunited by the bar, but Nicky offered no words to suggest he had taken notice of Aaron’s neck.

“You’re killing yourself.” Nicky would tell Aaron before he chased a vodka shooter with another energy drink. “I’m worried about you.”

“Why?” Aaron asked, with little to no interest in his hazel eyes. Eden’s Twilight shrouded Aaron in a blanket of shadow that felt comfortable to him, reminded him that he didn’t need to put in the extra effort of a smile. The details would surely go amiss in the dark. 

Nicky never graced Aaron with an answer. The night would carry on as intended and Aaron would still wake up alone in his bed with agony striking his chest.

Aaron found the most clarity when he was hurting, which was rarer these days. The feeling had drifted into a sort of low humming, a numbness, but the morning, once he was done throwing up his luminous insides, did a lot for the mind.

Aaron’s clearest memory of Kevin came from around the time that Kevin first invited himself into his room, his bed, after Eden’s Twilight. Aaron didn’t see it, because he never once looked at it. He remembered a feeling, safe and complete, of lying next to Kevin with his eyes closed and whispering that he wanted to own his future, that Aaron wanted to own him too. Kevin never spoke with his mouth, but Kevin’s hand were as talented in the bedroom as they were on the court and Aaron remembered every pathway they created along his skin in shivers. 

It was strange, Aaron thought, that no matter what way they decided to throw themselves into the bedsheets, the fit and result would always be the same.

Kevin’s thick left arm, cradling Aaron’s neck. Aaron’s head on Kevin’s shoulder and his left arm over a strong chest. Aaron’s right arm, tucked away neatly between them with a hand resting quietly on Kevin’s thigh with a weight that was featherlight. They slept facing one another, because sometimes the nightmares got to be a little too scary for Kevin and Aaron’s eyes would flutter awake with enough timidness that Kevin could register the difference between his pale eyes from dark ones. In those pauses they would drift together and Aaron would keep Kevin’s head close and he would whisper, very low, terrified of disturbing the air around them.

Silence gave them both comfort and Aaron only learnt how to understand its grip until after he needed to face it alone. 

Almost always, Kevin would fall asleep first. He would be quiet, more quiet than usual, and his head always looked as heavy as the burdens he carried on his shoulders. Kevin would never announce it, but he was a naturally sleepy person when given the right environment to do so; he could sleep anywhere, if given the chance, but Aaron noticed that their breathing only began to fall in unison when their kisses became common. 

Aaron, privately, wondered if their hearts shared a rhythm. It felt silly, he knew this, but he felt close to Kevin in those moments.

This positioning, Aaron’s bed and the simple brush of his sheets became theirs. It became important to Aaron in a way he didn’t like because it held the threat to change and, when it did, it forced Aaron to remember how he didn’t like it then as much as he did not like it now. Remembering them together meant that Aaron had to remember that he cannot replace that.

Intensity in a relationship was easy to replace; it was the simple nearness that he missed.


	2. Chapter 2

Eight months and four days after Kevin and Matt’s graduation ceremony marked the first Christmas period Aaron would spend without Kevin in about four years. Not the day, but the entire season, felt more lackluster than usual. 

Kevin never spoke much about Christmas. Aaron suspected it had a lot to do with never having a proper celebration but Aaron always recalled warm thoughts and sitting around a fire; it was the only time he and his mother got to spend any semblance of time together that meant anything. It also meant he got to see Nicky until he left for Germany. For Aaron, Christmas was special.

For Neil, Andrew and Kevin, it was another excuse to stay away from the tower and keep to themselves on the court. Aaron thought he might have understood, but he never once questioned Kevin for his abstain for anything fun because most answers had a tendency to lead back to Evermore. 

Katelyn, however, was full of seasonal spirit and she had even gone out of the way to make a pretty wreath for the door of dorm 317, which Aaron hung up for all of two days before Andrew tried to tear it down. The only reason why it wasn’t was because Neil had made up some bullshit lie to cover Aaron’s back about the decoration belonging to him instead. 

Aaron had thanked him in the showers, which unnerved Neil into defensive anger, but Aaron really didn’t care about what he couldn’t see behind the cubicle door after he banged on it twice to announce his presence.

Christmas was often spent with Wymack and Abby, and Andrew always personally saved some time for Bee, but Aaron wouldn’t know about that. The same arrangements were being planned this year and Aaron paid little attention to the details beyond; be there for Christmas Eve, presents on Christmas day and then everyone gets rewarded with alcohol for behaving. It was incentive enough and Aaron agreed without question; he had nowhere else to be and Katelyn’s family in Vancouver didn’t extend their hand out this time with an invite.

The team were reeling on the confirmation for being in the Championships again so the vibes around the Tower were good in regards to splitting off for break. Matt had dropped by to spend some time with Neil, although the actual contents of their time spent together was being withheld from the rest of the team, and Sheena was making some ruckus about having to miss everyone. Aaron paid them no mind and focused on helping Katelyn pack for flying home instead.

Her room was a mess, with clothes all over the floor and papers clogging up her desk in a way that Aaron was used to seeing. He would laugh, but Katelyn was so frazzled by the sight of her own suitcase that he needed to spend his energy on grabbing her arms and holding her down. 

“Hey.” Aaron hummed. Katelyn looked panicked between Aaron and her bags. “Really, chill out, why’re you so nervous?”

“My actual dad will be there this year.” Katelyn murmured. 

“What about Carl?”

“He’ll be there too. I have no idea what my mother is thinking.” Katelyn started sobbing, her nerves falling out all over her hands and Aaron stepped in close to comfort her.

“Maybe it won’t be all bad.” Aaron said, surprisingly optimistic for him. “If your mother has invited him over this year, then maybe it’ll be different this time around. You miss your dad, right?”

“Oh, god, always… But I never want to put my parents in a position like this. I know they’re doing this for me but I don’t want it like… Like this.”

Aaron struggled to keep up. He heard the words falling from her lips but Aaron’s mind kept flashing to what he knew Christmas to be in his life and what Christmas meant for people like Kevin and Neil. His grip on Katelyn’s arms tightened before he let go completely and turned his attention back onto the pile of clothes she had let build up.

“There’s no use in worrying about it right now, okay?” Aaron picked up a soft night dress. “Let’s figure out what you need and then we can worry about the details.”

Katelyn’s sniff was obscene and Aaron couldn’t help the small chuckle which escaped his throat, but the sound was enough to send them both into a shared laugh and Katelyn couldn’t stop looking at Aaron as if he put the stars in her sky. 

Katelyn’s flight was booked for the next day and Aaron saw her off in the parking lot. Her departure meant the official beginning of his seasonal torture with people who weren’t worth more than a few minutes of his time each day, but Aaron kept a brave face on throughout the preparations on his end.

Neil finally returned to the Tower with an indescribable smile plastered across his face. He had whispered something into Andrew’s ear, who made an unreadable expression before tutting and turning away, and Aaron stopped paying attention. Neil then came bounding over to him and Aaron had no choice but to brave himself for the assault on his eardrums, a common side effect of having to listen to Josten’s voice. 

“Matt’s going to propose to Dan on New Years.” Neil said and Aaron’s eyebrows rose. 

“Is that what you two were doing? I don’t understand, why wouldn’t he invite you up to NYC instead, wouldn’t there be a lot more to see there?” Neil knew that Aaron was talking about the ring, but Neil deadpanned his expression any ways. Aaron frowned. “No?”

“Matt wanted something from home.” Neil explained. 

Home. Aaron felt his jaw clench and his teeth grind for a second before he managed to school himself into remaining neutral in his face. “Well.” Aaron murmured. “Good for them.”

“No one else can know.” 

“Why me?” Aaron asked. 

“Because you roomed with the guy for two years.” Neil smiled. “Who knows, he might even consider you a friend.”

“Troubling.” Aaron said. 

Neil settled himself back against Andrew’s side on the sofa while Aaron left to find some coffee. Nicky still wasn’t back from wherever he had run off to, which meant that Aaron had to stay as quiet as possible to not disturb his brother’s peace now that Neil was back in his possession. This was fine, easy even, and Aaron had since become incredibly good at minding his own business now that Neil and Andrew let him. He opted to sit at the breakfast bar instead of on his usual beanbag; out of sight, out of mind, and he didn’t want to find out what those smacking noises from the sofa were any ways. 

Nicky returned about half an hour later, bags under his arms and a grin spread wide across his face. Aaron stood up with the intention to greet him, but his own curiosity got the best of him upon approach and Nicky let him peek into one of the bags. There was an assortment of decorations, assumedly for their room, but when Nicky pulled the bags away and tucked them neatly by his suitcase for Abby’s, Aaron realised they weren’t for Room 317.

“Abby is letting us decorate the tree.” Nicky’s eyes sparkled. Aaron felt himself soften and Nicky took a hold of his shoulders. “Just like old times, Aaron. She’s really letting us.”

“She’s letting you.” Aaron reminded. 

“Don’t say that! I’ll need your clinical eye to spot the mistakes.”

“Don’t forget to put his glasses on, then.” Neil chirped from the sofa and Aaron shot him a dark look. 

“I only need those for reading.” Aaron grunted.

“Still need them.”

Aaron decided to be the bigger person and turned away to ignore Neil and his brother. Nicky was busy packing whatever he could into his suitcase, but left more than half of the decorations in their plastic bags for either Aaron or Neil to inevitably take in his stead. Aaron knew he wouldn’t be taking much more than the necessities, so he mentally thought about how he was going to pack everything for his cousin. 

They all left that evening, with Aaron and Nicky in the back seat of Andrew’s car, crammed on either side of the big pile of suitcases that couldn't fit in the trunk. The Maserati wasn’t made for holiday goers, but Aaron knew better than to complain since he himself could barely take up any space any ways, especially after he had curled in on himself against the window to fall asleep. Abby’s place wasn’t a far drive but Aaron still found time to take a quick nap despite Nicky’s constant chattering to Andrew.

He dreamt of Kevin for what felt like the one thousandth time and Aaron woke up with an exceptional longing that felt uncomfortably close to sadness. Nicky shook with a gentle push and Aaron didn’t so much as squeak when shoved. 

Abby’s house was just as decorated for Christmas as it had been for Thanksgiving; how this woman didn’t have a family of her own was surprising, but Aaron figured she quietly looked forward to seeing her Foxes as much as any mother would enjoy seeing her children. 

He tried hard not to think too much on whatever that meant to him and carried himself through the front doors instead to greet her with a barely-there smile. Nicky gave her a hug and Neil took his scolding for walking on his swollen ankle, again, like a champ. Andrew scooted past her and made a beeline for the kitchen to, predictably, sniff out the alcohol. 

“How were your few days with the others?” Abby asked Aaron, because he was the only one still in the hallway toeing off his shoes. “Did you say hi to Katelyn?”

“Yeah.” Aaron didn’t look up at her, but his voice remained levelled and friendly. “She’s gone back to Vancouver. Her birth father will be there this year and she’s worried that there’s going to be a fight between him and Carl.”

Aaron didn’t mind sharing his thoughts with Abby concerning Katelyn; there wasn’t anything she didn’t know regarding the Vixens since she looked after them just as often as she would look after the Foxes. Abby’s reaction didn’t surprise him and Aaron finally stood up straight to shrug off his jacket. “Oh, that’s too bad. Do you know if her sisters will be around?”

“She didn’t mention.” Aaron said. “But it wouldn’t surprise me. Alice won’t leave Kate alone to fend for herself, I don’t think I need to worry.”

Abby’s face softened and he pushed past her before she could get another word in. Aaron’s defenses were low enough right now without having someone constantly trying to pick at his walls on the only holiday he deemed acceptable. Abby has known him long enough to figure out when to change the topic at hand.

“The tree is in the garden.” Abby said, rubbing her hands together as she followed Aaron into the open lounge space where Nicky and Neil were digging through ornaments and tree decorations already. All of their bags were still in the car so Aaron assumed these ones must have belonged to Abby. “I’ll need some help putting it up before David shows up.”

“Where is coach?” Neil asked, but Abby didn’t respond before disappearing into the double doors for the kitchen. 

“Andrew, please put that down. I haven’t even started cooking the food yet.” They heard through the gap in the doors.

“I hate that word.” Andrew said without humour in his voice, but Abby sounded like she was pushing past him any ways to grab at whatever Andrew had picked up out of sight. 

“After dinner.” Abby told him and Andrew resurfaced a few seconds later with drinks on a tray any ways. 

Aaron took his drink, but took all of two sips before he put his glass down onto a nearby table before standing up to find Abby in the kitchen. He didn’t say a word and kept to himself as he scanned over the kitchen for a moment. He settled his eyes on the back door and managed only a step before Abby could put her arm out in front of him. 

“I would wait until everyone’s ready to start decorating.” Abby said and it left Aaron with heat in his cheeks. “I know you’re excited, but the tree is exceptionally big this year and I don’t want you hurting yourself.”

“I’m stronger now.”

“The hormones don’t make you stronger, Aaron, so please… Just wait until the others are finished and ready to help.”

Aaron felt his eyes sting. He opened his mouth to retort, say something hurtful to get his way again, but he and Andrew must have some unified mood synchroniser because his twin appeared through the doors again with a bored expression. Abby picked up on it immediately and lowered her arm when Andrew’s eyes became fixated on it. 

“Just in time!” Abby smiled. “Your brother wants to get the tree set up.”

“Alright.” Andrew said, eyes flicking up to find Aaron’s own gaze and he walked over to be almost pressed up against his side. “Let’s go.”

“Andrew--”

“I said let’s go. We won’t need anyone else.”

“Let me get Nicky--” Abby started, but Andrew cut her off by pushing Aaron towards the door with a strong shove of his elbow. 

“Nope.” Andrew kept pushing his brother until there was barely any space between Aaron and the back door, which Andrew pulled open just enough for them both to fit through. 

Aaron found that Abby hadn’t been lying about the tree; it was at least seven feet high and its trunk was thicker than most other trees Aaron had seen and while he felt a little intimidated by its girth, Andrew went to work immediately. He found gloves discarded to the side and tested its weight with both of his hands before dropping to bend down and lift with his knees. He made it look so easy and now Aaron was a little nervous to grab the other end, but Andrew’s eyes were insistent and he didn’t look as if he was going to move without a little help on the other end.

“I’ve seen what you press.” Andrew murmured. “Hurry up, or I’ll purposefully drop this on your foot before we even make it into the house.”

It was freezing outside and the cold air on the grass was already starting to eat at his feet through thick socks so Aaron got to work quickly. Another pair of gloves were nestled neatly on the patio, tucked behind a plant pot, but Aaron slipped them over his hands with ease and got to work on the other end of the tree. It was a little lighter than what Andrew was probably carrying, but the branches were fluffy and Aaron kept getting pine needles brushed into his face, followed by Andrew’s hollow chuckles, as they walked in time with one another. It was a slow pace, but with Aaron going backwards it was necessary. 

When Aaron got up to the top of the patio steps, he smirked down at Andrew and said: “I could drop this right now.” Andrew flickered up an amused look. “Onto you, and you’d get crushed.”

“Oh.” Andrew huffed. He wasn’t smiling, but Aaron could tell what that tease at the corners of his lips meant. “Now, wouldn’t that just solve the rest of your problems.”

“Probably not.” Aaron said, surprisingly honest, and Andrew’s eyes dropped down almost immediately to avoid holding their locked gazes for any longer. 

Abby cleared the way for the twins when the tree poked its way into the house and Nicky held the doors open for them. Neil already had the base ready and it took all four of them to turn the tree up the right way and slot it into the metal base. Somehow, they got it in one go and Aaron responded to Nicky’s high five with a smile. Abby got a brush pan and cleaned up whatever mess the twins had left behind and looked thoroughly surprised with their handiwork.

“Wow.” Abby clapped her hands and all the cousins turned back to look at her. “I really thought we were going to have to wait for David and Kevin.”

“Kevin?” Aaron croaked out. He couldn’t help himself and Nicky’s eyes snapped onto him immediately. “Kevin’s coming?”

“Oh.” Abby covered her mouth, but Aaron could see her smiling from between her fingers. “Oh, sorry, that was meant to be a surprise.”

“Good one, Abby.” Nicky whined. “You totally robbed me of my shockcam moment.” 

“You knew?” Aaron turned accusingly at Nicky, who held his hands up in the air in a surrender motion. Neither Neil or Andrew looked surprised or shaken by the news so Aaron realised he was the only one not in the loop. “We haven’t spoken in weeks.”

“Aaron.” Nicky tried, quietly and gently. “Hey, don’t take this the wrong way but this isn’t about you. It’s about Coach and his son, y’know? It’s Christmas.”

Aaron didn’t like how those words stung in his chest.

“Yeah.” Aaron tried to reason with himself, but the heartache was too much and he felt all the eyes of the world staring at him. “No, you’re right.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aaron wasn’t surprised when he was given the single room. Nicky got a double, because he is Nicky, and Abby is incredibly fond of him but since there were far less bodies this time around in comparison to Thanksgiving, it gave Aaron some real space. This room came with a lock and Aaron seriously considered using it to keep his annoying family at bay, until he remembered that it was broken.

He opted to keep his bag over the threshold to make moving the door a challenge any ways. He unpacked what he could and carefully pulled out the plastic bag containing all of the ornaments Nicky had picked up before arriving and placed it to the side. 

“Hey, you ready?” Nicky called from the other side of Aaron’s door. Aaron gently pulled it open and left only a crack for Nicky to speak through. “I think Neil and Andrew are messing around with the lights.”

“Yeah.” Aaron moved to stand and took the plastic bag with him. “I’m coming.”

Nicky was right; Andrew was by the plug point and Neil was trying to weave fairy lights through the tree with enough spaces between each level to make it interesting, but with them all turned off, Aaron knew that he couldn’t really see what he was doing. He knelt down beside Neil and started rearranging Neil’s hard work and, if he cared, Neil didn’t say anything. 

“I was thinking about a white and gold theme.” Nicky said from somewhere behind him. “Abby has loads of really nice baubles and we have a lot of ornaments from your place, Aaron.”

“Wait--”

“I found them when I was clearing out the house.” Nicky beamed. Aaron knew that Nicky meant well, but it was bizarre for him to pull out old relics from the Minyard household so many years after the fact. He hadn’t even properly looked in the bags before stuffing them into his suitcase and now he wished he had. “Is that what you were doing?”

Aaron’s eyes darted to see if Andrew was paying attention. His eyes were solely fixated on Neil’s handiwork with the lights, so he hoped he wasn’t, but Aaron also knew his brother well enough to know that this entire conversation would come back to bite them on the ass eventually. For now, however, Aaron considered themselves safe. 

“Alright, let’s separate everything out.”

“I want to be in charge of chocolates.” Neil said. 

“I want to do tinsel.” Aaron called after and Nicky whined when he was given the baubles and various ornaments to sort through. “Don’t complain, this is your colour scheme.”

“I regret this already, why do so many Christmas baubles have red in them?”

They trio shared a small laugh. Andrew looked content enough with sorting through the electrics to make sure nothing was going to tangle and Nicky didn’t bother trying to engage him with any more than what he wanted to do.

It took the cousins about an hour to fully finish the tree to Nicky’s incredibly high standards; every inch of the tree was covered with either white, gold or a sparkling silver and Aaron had to admit that it looked every bit of Christmas that he remembered. The Hemmicks usually had a tree a lot bigger than this; it reached the ceiling of their incredibly high walls and they usually decorated its peak with an angel and then the bottom with a nativity set. Aaron didn’t know how traditional that was, he never asked, but his mother always looked exceptionally taken by the tiny statues that she once tried to buy a smaller, more intricate replica for their own home. Not that she ever put them up. 

Tilda loved to dress up. Aaron remembered that her favourite dress must have been the knee-length bodycon with decorative sequin over its entire drape. He remembered it well, because the tiny discs of plastic felt horrible under his palms whenever he’d try and reach up for her attention as a kid. They also almost always caught onto the threads of whatever god awful dress she’d put him in until he managed to escape their clutches at the age of twelve. Tilda also wore a lot of make-up and Aaron was once caught with red lipstick all over his hands, but never again. 

There was one Christmas, Aaron must have been about nine and Tilda had him on her lap. She was humming, with the soft choir of music coming from the cassette player from the opposite end of the room and Aaron remembered liking the soft harmony as Tilda brushed his hair and painted his eyes. She wanted him to be pretty for Christmas Eve, for their dinner with Luther, Maria and Nicky. It was night time and Aaron is sure that there was never a moment like that again. They had flown all the way from San Jose and Aaron wasn’t used to the climate of South Carolina, but he enjoyed the snow. 

“... Second, Aaron?”

“What?” Aaron’s attention snapped back to Nicky, who looked as if he had been talking at him for quite some time now. Aaron ducked his head down low and flickered his eyes up in mild shame. “Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“I said that we’re all going to go to bed.”

“Oh.” Aaron blinked away his dazed state. “Already?”

“Yeah, it’s like… Ten, and Abby wants us to help with dinner tomorrow.” Neil said. 

Aaron didn’t want to ask the question on his mind, so he started moving to stand up instead and gathered himself. Neil and Andrew were already walking towards the door, but Aaron turned around and went for the kitchen instead. He wasn’t surprised when Nicky followed him.

“Hey, can we talk for a moment?” Nicky asked and Aaron opened up the fridge for a cold can of soda instead of answering, which Nicky took as a yes. “It’s about Kev.”

“Not this again.” Aaron grumbled as he cracked the can open before taking two, long gulps. 

“I don’t know how to ask this, but with him coming back eventually to spend Christmas with all of us, I really have to know. Have you broken up?”

“...” Aaron stared at his drink. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“I wasn’t joking when I said we haven’t spoken in weeks.” Aaron said. “He’s been busy, I guess playing professionally doesn’t give him a lot of time, but I knew that already, so I don’t pester him. He’s playing with Thea any ways, so he’s probably doing alright.”

“How can you say that?” Nicky asked, incredulous. “What’s Thea got to do with anything?”

“His girlfriend? He’s playing in Houston. I don’t even know if he and Thea ever got the closure they needed last year or not. Again, I didn’t ask.”

“Aaron…” Nicky tried. “Kevin really likes you.”

“Kevin doesn’t like anything but Exy.” Aaron said, with venom. It was harsh enough to even push Nicky into a nervous silence and Aaron walked around the middle counter to find a glass to pour out the rest of his drink. 

“He isn’t coming here for me.” Aaron whispered. “You said it yourself. He’s here for coach and he’s here for Abby.”

“...” Nicky swallowed and stayed quiet as Aaron chose to disappear into the hallway and then up the stairs. 

Aaron tried the lock again and wasn’t surprised to find it stiff. He opted to keep it open, but closed the door as tight as it could go before barricading himself in with his suitcase again to warn any intruders that he didn’t intend to be disturbed. 

The first thing he did was remove his shirt and unhook his binder, relieved when he finally slipped out of its tight confinements and gave him room to breathe again. His jeans and socks were next and Aaron chose to wear a baggy shirt and just his shorts before crawling into the bed by himself. It was nice, having space to mope in alone, but he was an absolute idiot to think any of that could last.

He spent most of the night awake on his phone talking to Katelyn. She had landed in Vancouver during dinner, but couldn’t find the time to pull himself away for a quick chat so he hoped that the time difference would allow them a little more than just a few moments to share. 

‘Hey.’ Aaron sent, followed by. ‘Sorry, I was so busy. Abby got us to decorate her tree and then we ate a shit tonne of food. Hows home?’

‘Really nice.’ Was the message Aaron got back almost immediately. ‘Carl hasn’t yelled once! He and dad seem to be getting along nicely, but I dunno if it’s all just for show xx how’re your brother and neil?’

‘They’re ok.’

‘You don’t sound okay.’

‘Found out Kevin is coming after all.’

‘Oh no.’ Katelyn wrote. ’But isn’t that exciting? You’ll get to see each other again!’

‘I don’t even know where we stand. If we stand at all.’

‘Worst thing you can do is not ask or try xx’

Aaron didn’t respond. He gently placed his phone down onto the pillow and rolled over to ignore the devastating thoughts running through his head instead. Sleep found him quickly and drew him into her warm arms, but the sanctuary wasn’t destined to last very long because in about two hours and a half of being falling asleep, Aaron found himself being woken up by a bump from the floor below him.

He checked his phone; the time was four in the morning and it made no sense for any one else to be awake at this hour. Aaron sat up, barely, and listened to the footsteps from downstairs turn into soft hushes and tiny words being whispered between two bodies. Aaron wasn’t an idiot and, by a process of elimination, realised that Wymack and Kevin had shown up. 

A horrible, anxious feeling threatened to grip Aaron of any breath he had left in his throat by the time the footsteps reached the top landing and, with Aaron’s door being right in front of the stairwell, he gasped. One set of feet went one way, towards what Aaron knew was Abby’s room, and the other remained stationary by his door. 

Aaron’s body twisted until his feet were planted firmly on the ground; whether to run or to hide, Aaron wasn’t sure, but he waited and waited until Kevin decided to walk down the hall towards the cupboard. Aaron knew that Abby kept sheets and spare pillows in there, because that was where he and Kevin took their stash last Thanksgiving for the sofa, which meant that Kevin had plans on repeating himself.

“... Fuck sake.” Aaron said to himself and pushed off of his bed with all the energy that his tired body could muster. He kicked the suitcase guarding his door to the side and, very carefully, creeped the door into his bedroom open to watch Kevin fuck around with the blankets. 

He looked different. Aaron felt his nerve beginning to slip and it took whatever balls he could muster from his gut to keep the door open and hold his ground until Kevin, finally, turned around with his two pillows and a duvet rolled up under one arm. Kevin almost didn’t see him, because his eyes were concentrating on his footwork so as not to fall down the stairs, but Aaron caught him just on the landing before their descent and Kevin almost dropped his load.

“Shit--” Kevin whisper-hissed. “You scared the shit out of me.”

“Put those away.” Aaron sighed. “Come on.”

“...”

“Kevin.” Aaron tried hard not to sound as miserable as he felt. “I heard you standing outside my door for about five minutes, do you know how desperate that feels?”

Kevin had the courtesy to at least look a little embarrassed. Instead of dropping his sheets and pillows however, he took them into Aaron’s room and threw them onto the floor is a hazardous pile. Aaron stared at him and Kevin stared at the duvets until he managed to gather the courage to, finally, remove his jacket before that joined the pile also.

“It’s nice to see you.” Aaron said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. 

“I am really tired.” Kevin sighed, exasperated. He turned his attention onto Aaron for the first time in weeks and Aaron could see the exhaustion in his eyes. “Can we just sleep?”

Aaron crooked a finger at Kevin, beckoning him to join him on the mattress and Kevin followed willingly until they were both lying on the bed and Kevin had to awkwardly kick off his pants and socks until he was just in his shorts and shirt, to match Aaron. The silence between their bodies was stifling and Aaron had grown bored of the distance.

His hand touched Kevin’s thigh, and Kevin reached up to touch Aaron’s neck in turn and the two shared a chaste kiss.

“I miss you.” Kevin whispered.

“I miss you, too.” Aaron said, barely above a breath, and they both rolled over to ignore one another until the morning.

Only centimetres apart, in a ridiculous single bed, and Aaron still couldn’t feel the warmth radiating off of Kevin’s body.


	3. Chapter 3

Christmas Eve started with Aaron’s face buried in the crook of Kevin’s neck. His hand had found the warm and tight skin of Kevin’s abs and his shirt had shifted up to his pecs in their sleep. Aaron’s baggy shirt remained tucked around his body like a shield, but Aaron felt self conscious any ways and tugged the hem of his shirt down as far as it could go. Given by how tired and sore his eyes felt, it couldn’t have been any more than only a few hours since he and Kevin had gone to sleep but there were sounds coming from downstairs. 

Kevin didn’t move or stir when Aaron started to shift around in the bed, so he kissed at Kevin’s neck instead. The touch didn’t do much to deter Kevin from his slumber, so he bit and sucked hard enough until Kevin grunted and pushed Aaron off of his body.

“Fucking hell.” Kevin moaned, manhandling Aaron with enough strength that he ended up on the edge of their tiny bed. “Vampire.”

“Morning.”

“Fuck off.” Kevin grunted and rolled over to face the wall. The two sides of Aaron’s brain struggled until he finally decided to persist in his conquest to aggravate Kevin enough into waking up, so he followed him into the wall and started kissing along the line of Kevin’s ear with loud smacks. Kevin, predictably, started batting his hand at him and almost yelled when Aaron got his teeth involved.

“You taste like guilt and regret.” Aaron teased, but the result was more than what he was expecting and Kevin practically threw Aaron off of him. Normally, the violent reaction would be enough to scare anyone away, but Aaron got in close enough to find both of Kevin’s hands and pulled with enough force to lie him across his back. 

Kevin stared up at him, eyes sleepy and brow furrowed with irritation. Aaron bit his lip and crawled over the expanse of Kevin’s lap with enough weight to let him know how serious he was about keeping him awake. Aaron pinned Kevin’s hands above his head, keeping them steady, as he leaned down to press a soft kiss against Kevin’s mouth with a hidden promise laced between their lips. His own hands slid down Kevin’s wrist, arms and then over the rise of his strong shoulders and chest until Aaron splayed his palms out in a gentle, but possessive, hold. Kevin sighed into Aaron’s mouth and pressed in for another kiss, which Aaron happily responded to.

“Morning.” Aaron tried again, softer this time, and Kevin rose to the occasion. 

“Hey.” Kevin smiled and Aaron felt like slapping his face, part in irritation and part in embarrassment because it was absolutely a capital offense to look that good in the morning. “What do I taste like now?”

“Hesitation.” Aaron replied coolly and Kevin was wiser than to argue. Aaron pushed himself up and reached over to find his phone on the bedside table before flicking it open with a fluid motion. He checked through his notifications and found one that Katelyn had left him maybe only minutes after initially falling asleep.

’Good night, Aaron. Take it easy, sleep well and remember what i said about trying xx i love you x.’

The second message was from Kevin.

’Coach says you’re holed up in the single room and that Nicky has the only other double so I’ll force his hand into trading with me tomorrow. Sorry I’m so late. If you’re awake, let me know.  
\- Kev.’

Aaron slammed his phone shut and threw it across the room onto the pile of sheets Kevin had so perfectly placed behind his door.

“What is it?” Kevin asked and Aaron tapped an impatient finger against Kevin’s pec.

“You don’t have to sign your name off in a text.” Aaron said. “I already have you as a contact, don’t be an idiot.”

Kevin couldn’t help his smile, but Aaron knew that there were ways to school an expression into not looking so fucking fond. Aaron couldn’t hit him, so he grabbed both sides of Kevin’s face and kissed the smirk off instead.

They must have stayed in bed for hours, because by the time they finally decided to resurface and join the world of the living, Abby was making lunch. Andrew and Neil were outside with Wymack, cutting up what looked like firewood and Nicky was setting the table for Abby when Aaron pushed into the kitchen. 

“Look who decided to show up!” Nicky cheered, but he wasn’t talking about Aaron. Kevin had barely gotten dressed; his shirt was wrinkled and his sweatpants were probably the ones he had travelled in but Nicky didn’t seem to care as he looked the athlete up and down before biting down on his lip. “Look at you. Did you get bigger? Oh, wait, don’t tell me… It’s those crazy tough athlete workout plans they have you on now that you’ve gone pro, right?”

Nicky was a lot for this time in the morning (day), but Aaron was well used to his energy by now. Kevin, however, had spent three years away from Nicky in the morning and looked like he would be taking a while to adjust to his speed. Aaron tugged gently on his wrist and guided Kevin back into one of the seats. Aaron sat down next to him and tried to, desperately, ignore the look his cousin gave him in response. 

“Who’s having burgers?” Abby asked, turning around to face everyone. Her eyes fell onto Kevin immediately and she looked nothing short of fond when she walked over and messed up his already incredibly messy hair. “I didn’t see you last night.”

“Went straight to bed.”

“Oh, I’ll bet.” Nicky teased. Both Kevin and Aaron shot daggers at him with enough ferocity that the topic got dropped immediately. 

Abby walked from the table towards the back door and opened it up to shout on the boys outside; Wymack yelled something awful when Andrew laughed and Aaron didn’t want to know, he really didn’t, but then Neil came running inside and Wymack followed behind him holding his hand. 

“Come here, you little shit!”

“I really didn’t mean that! Im sorry!” Neil yelled back, smiling despite himself, but he became incredibly distracted from the matter at hand when he saw Kevin. Abby took Wymack’s hand into her own to inspect it but shook her head when she, assumedly, found nothing but a tiny sprain. “Oh! Man, you look like shit.”

“Fuck you.”

“Andrew! Andrew, Kevin’s back!” Neil shouted into the backyard. Andrew stepped into the house moment later, regarded Neil, and then moved his eyes around the room until they settled on Kevin. Aaron felt Kevin stiffen up beside him and Aaron almost stood up from his chair to swap spaces with Andrew, but Kevin must have read his mind and slammed a hand down onto his thigh to keep him seated. 

“Happy holidays.” Andrew said to Kevin, neutral. Kevin quirked his lip up and turned his attention back to Aaron instead now that everyone was in the same room.

“I missed this.”

“Did you, really?” Aaron asked, sighing. “You can swap places with me, if you’d like. You’d get to see them everywhere and everyday.”

“It’s only a matter of time now.” Kevin said, which Aaron thought was meant to be comforting but time was relative and it had felt like years, not months, since even Kevin had left his side. “Chicago, right? That’s exciting.”

“I told you that months ago.” Aaron murmured, expression dropping. He heard Kevin swallow and rolled his eyes.

“Oh, Aaron.” Wymack showed up suddenly, holding an envelope and looked between both twins in an attempt to figure out who was who, despite the fact that he had just spent the better half of a morning with one of them. Aaron waved Wymack down and then was promptly handed the letter in his grip. 

Aaron stared at the envelope and saw his named scrawled out in a neat script which he did not recognise at all. “What is this?”

“It’s from Randy Boyd.” Wymack said and Aaron’s brain started to short circuit. “She wasn’t sure where you would be staying, so she sent the letter to me instead with the hopes that I would pass it forward.”

“Why…”

“Honestly, I almost didn’t. What you did to her son is never something that I will understand, but she appreciated you enough to make sure your dumb ass didn’t get locked up two years ago, so I guess that counts for something. You’re even now, the least you could do is read it.”

Aaron stared at the seal and thought about opening the letter up in front of the table, but decided against it. He slipped it under one of his legs and Kevin securely covered the same thigh with the entire stretch of his hand in a protective grip. 

Lunch went by smoothly and Kevin managed to slip back into the rhythm of the monsters with surprising ease before they all vacated the kitchen and fell into the lounge together to stack whatever parcels they could underneath the tree. With there being seven people in total, it meant that the tree was fairly loaded, but Aaron couldn’t help but wonder how Christmas could be any fun without any kids around. He always imagined that that was where the magic of Christmas rested.

Aaron watched as Kevin slipped a few boxes under the tree, all with names scribbled over them, but none of them with his. He turned his head around to look at Nicky, who looked beyond pleased that there were so many presents being put aside and Aaron figured that maybe they wouldn’t need any kids around. He wasn’t too concerned with being gifted anything and, quite frankly, he wasn’t very good at expressing gratitude at the best of times in the first place. There was a strange anxiety that came with sharing Christmas with his family and not one that Aaron was willing to discuss with the others.

He wasn’t sure if it was because Kevin had sensed his nerves, or if it was purely by coincidence, but Kevin’s heavy hand suddenly dropped down onto his shoulder and eased Aaron out of his chair with a gentle push. Aaron found himself gravitating towards him naturally and the pair ended up back in their single room with Kevin on the bed and Aaron hovering nervously by the door, letter in one hand and phone in the other.

“Do you… Want to read that?” Kevin asked him carefully. Aaron glanced down at his hands and considered the letter for a couple of seconds before deciding that there wouldn’t be a better time to tear out his heart. Kevin didn’t move, so it was up to Aaron to seek him out for comfort and took a neat seat across his lap and used a nail to cut over the seal of the envelope. Kevin didn’t watch, not obviously, but Aaron could still feel his nosey eyes peeking over his shoulder any ways. 

Randy didn’t often write to Aaron, if at all, and it’s certainly the first time she’s properly given him a card for Christmas (as far as he’s concerned) so having the weight of the gift in his hands felt a little overwhelming. Aaron removed the card from its sleeve and held it up for both him and Kevin to see the cover; it was festive, nothing too decorative or religious but Aaron still knew this wasn’t a bulk packet buy. This was bought, specifically, with the intention of sending out to Aaron and it made his stomach flip in ways he didn’t understand.

“Are you going to read it?” Kevin asked again and Aaron sunk back into him. 

“I’m scared to, for some reason.”

“Do you want me to?” Kevin offered a hand out and Aaron nodded despite himself, turning over to sit sideways across Kevin and curled into his chest. Kevin held him carefully with one hand and used the other to hold the card open for him to read outloud.

His voice was quiet, loud enough for only Aaron to hear, and the sound was so soft that he was surprised that it even came from Kevin in the first place. 

”Dearest Aaron.  
I hope you are doing well, dear. Matthew has told me much about you in the past two years and you seem to be growing just fine despite all the troubles you have gone through. I know it’s silly, to be writing you like this, but I couldn’t help myself.

I am so proud of you, Aaron. I am so proud of you and everything that you have done for your family, for my family. Our family. I know that you will continue to have greatness in your life and that you will succeed with whatever it is that you want to do. Keep working hard.

If you ever find yourself in New York, please, don’t be a stranger.

Love and kindness, forever,  
Randy B.”

Kevin waited until Aaron let out a shaky breath before he put the card down on the bed sheets, freeing up his other hand to now hold onto Aaron and ground him in the only way he knew how. “She isn’t my mother. Why does she keep talking about our family? I cannot think of anything worse than being related to me.”

“It scared me, too.” Kevin whispered into Aaron’s ear. “The attention, the validation. I couldn’t think of anything worse than telling my father who he was, but the reality was that we were always going to be tied to one another and, sometimes, blood doesn’t run thicker than water. She, in some way, feels responsible for you, Aaron.”

“This feels like shit.” Aaron whispered.

“No one is trying to replace your mother.” Kevin chose his words carefully, but Aaron still flinched regardless. “Not Randy, not Abby, not Bee. Nobody will ever be your mother.”

“Good.” Aaron sniffed. He wiped his eyes and Kevin only pulled him in closer. “I wouldn’t want them to be.”

Kevin worried his lip and considering moving them both so that they could lie across the bed, but with Aaron’s weight so heavy in his lap, he didn’t move and Aaron was more than content to stay exactly where they were. 

“No matter what happens, Aaron…” Kevin started and Aaron sighed against his neck. “I want to be there for you, too.”

“Like family?” Aaron almost laughed.

“Like your partner.”

“Mhm.”

“And I… I haven’t been a very good one recently. I’ve had a lot to think about, a lot to work through and I know you have too. I’ve thought about it and I want to be there for you.”

Aaron managed to peel himself off of Kevin enough to be able to look him in the eye. His own eyes were red, he knew this, but Kevin had the surprising decency to not scrutinise him under his stare.

“You can’t promise me that.” Aaron said. “No one can, and no one will. Everyone goes in the end, and I’ve said it before--”

“I love you.”

“You love exy, Kevin. You always have and you always will continue to love exy because that’s the one true affair in your life that will never change. It won’t sway, it wont bend and it won’t break. Me and exy? We cannot coexist for you.” Aaron shouted as heat rose up in his chest with enough speed that it caused him to feel dizzy, disorientated and Kevin had no choice but to let Aaron’s body go when he stood. “I’ve been messaging you, phoning you, for months now and all I get are flimsy worded replies. I even contacted Thea, and she ignored me.”

“Thea--”

“I’m not stupid, Kevin, and fuck you for ever thinking that I was.” Aaron snarled. Kevin stared dumbly at him. “You can’t… Y-You can’t just come into my room unannounced after two months of not speaking to me and just assume that everything is alright. You can’t… You can’t just fucking pause your life and expect everyone else’s to not move along just because yours hasn’t.”

Aaron could see Kevin’s hands clenched into fists across his lap, could see the way his grip flexed with his thoughts and how they finally relaxed once Aaron’s temper had fallen limp. There was a pressure behind Aaron’s eyes, but his rage and passion refused to allow them to break through without a proper reason and, right now, Aaron couldn’t find one to cry over. 

“I’m not… Sleeping with Thea.” Kevin said, weakly, and Aaron’s chuckle was sardonic. “I mean it, Aaron. I’m not. I haven’t messed around-- the only person I ever want to see is you, but I can’t… Fuck, I’m really fucking awful at multi-tasking--”

“Can you just, for once in your motherfucking life, be honest with me?”

“What?”

“Just tell me that you tried to stop caring.” Aaron’s anger had dissipated and replaced with an undeniable, heart stabbing sadness. The sensation was suffocating, as if it had hands and those hands were suddenly wrapped around his throat with an unforgiving squeeze. “Please, just tell me that you tried to stop caring because it is written all over your face and I can read people a lot better than everyone thinks.”

Kevin looked absolutely dumbfounded. Aaron knew that he had hit the nail right on the head, but to see the materialisation of his assumptions laid out before him made everything feel a lot more like a failure than a success. He never intended to pull the rug out from Kevin’s feet, because Aaron was almost certain that Kevin himself never really understood why he decided to do anything, but now his expression kept flickering between fury and distress that Aaron was positive that he had thrown the athlete through a mental loop and a half. 

“Well?” Aaron prompted and it was enough to jerk Kevin out from his own head.

“I tried to stop caring.” Kevin concluded out loud, to himself and to Aaron. “I pulled myself away from everyone and focused on my career.”

“See?” Aaron whispered. “Was that so hard?”

It was devastating, Aaron knew this, but to hear the words in his ears and not in his head felt equally as devastating. Kevin finally moved to stand up and reached his hands out to take ahold of Aaron’s shoulders. He kept them there, like a steady paperweight to keep Aaron from falling down into the abyss of his own mind and Kevin gently, so very gently, brought his fingers up to touch the line of Aaron’s jaw just enough to make his head rise. 

“Aaron…” Kevin said quietly. “Seeing you last night was the only thing I had been thinking about the whole flight up from Houston.”

“...”

“There is nothing I can say or do to make you believe me, I know, but I need to be able to start somewhere.”

“...” Aaron’s eyes were glassy, but Kevin pressed on.

“I’m transferring to Chicago next season.”

“What--”

“And I’m going to be buying an apartment there, and I want you to move in with me.”

“You can’t do that.”

“I want a team I can create and I want a team that can keep up with me, Chicago is that team. There’s a new coach, a nice and fresh set of players and even Jean will be there with me. No, hey, look at me. It’s perfect.”

“... You’re such a fucking control freak.” Aaron sobbed and Kevin’s laugh was weak, small, but it warmed Aaron up nevertheless. 

Their lips found each other instinctively and, even though Aaron struggled to push down the part of his mind that wanted to doubt Kevin, Aaron wrapped his arms around Kevin’s neck and held him close. 

“I’m sorry.” Kevin whispered into Aaron’s hair. “I’m so sorry.”

“Fuck you.” Aaron sighed.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Tilda would always be the last person to wake up on Christmas day: she held this title up until her death and then suddenly it became Aaron’s responsibility to never move until forced. Nicky had plenty of Christmas cheer to make up for the both of them, but his upbringing with Maria and Luther meant that there would always be a traditional twist to their day. It wasn’t awful, there were certainly worse ways to spend a holiday, but Aaron didn’t care much for prayers.

Over the last five or so years of spending his time almost exclusively with Nicky and Andrew, his cousin’s insistent nature towards Christmas had calmed down. This year, however, was an exception. Aaron figured it had something to do with spending the holiday with more people than just the twins which, really, Aaron understood. Having both Neil and Kevin around, as well as Wymack and Abby, must have excited him into not sleeping at all because Aaron almost threw Nicky out of his bedroom when he came bounding in at eight in the morning. 

“You cannot be serious.” Aaron said at the door, eyes heavy. His hair was definitely a mess. He could see his own shadow on the carpet by Nicky’s feet and his head looked twice the size. Aaron frowned and Nicky pushed gently at his shoulder.

“Come on. Neil and Andrew are waiting.”

“They’re downstairs?”

“Umm… No.” Nicky played with his hands. “Coach and Abby are, though, and Neil said they wouldn’t be long. Abby’s making hot cocoa for all of us.”

Aaron considered Nicky for a moment before he glanced back to the bed. Nicky had agreed to swap with him and Kevin, which gave them the luxury of a double bed, but Kevin’s form still looked massive under the sheets. “Alright.”

“Be down in a bit?” Nicky suggested, wagging his eyebrows, but Aaron slammed the door in his face before he could give himself the opportunity of being irritated this early in the morning.

Kevin barely reacted when Aaron shoved at his shoulder. It took all of Aaron’s weight and his teeth digging into Kevin’s bare neck for him to move at all. “Vampire.” Kevin groaned, pushing at Aaron’s face with little strength. “Again.”

“Get up.”

“No.” Said Kevin, predictably.

Aaron rolled his eyes and decided to slip into bed next to Kevin instead. He smirked when Kevin moved to roll onto his back and dragged a single finger down the stretch of Kevin’s chest until his nail caught a nipple. “No?”

“I need to be coerced.”

“Yeah?” Aaron tweaked at the nub and Kevin sighed. “What’s in it for me?”

“I know which buttons to press.” Kevin murmured. “To make you cum.”

“Do you always want to fuck after an argument?” Aaron teased, because he already knew what Kevin’s response would be. Kevin’s sudden hand on the back of Aaron’s neck started to pull and Aaron was weak to fight against it. Their mouths met in a chaste kiss and Aaron had the nerves to press a little harder and urged more out of Kevin until their tongues were pressing together and their teeth clanked. 

Aaron thought that Kevin tasted like sleep, but he didn’t mind. Their noses bumped together and, when they pulled apart, Aaron cuddled in closer. Christmas be damned, Aaron wasn’t going to rush any time soon even with everyone starting to gather downstairs.

Kevin let Aaron lie over his thick arm and didn’t complain when Aaron began kissing up the length of Kevin’s neck and nipped at the small bruises he had left the night before until their lips found one another again.

“Insatiable.” Aaron whispered. Kevin didn’t argue.

Twenty minutes, a thousand kisses and one orgasm later meant that both of them had the energy to, at least, get out of bed. Aaron grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a shirt, while Kevin found the nearest hoodie and shorts before they both stared each other down from across the room, willing the strength to leave. Aaron nodded towards the door and waited for Kevin’s nerve to, inevitably, break first before he turned to follow him out of the room and down the stairs.

They weren’t surprised to find everyone in the kitchen, all sitting at the table while Abby tidied away the leftovers. She didn’t hear them come in, but she didn’t have to. Nicky made a fuss about their tardiness and the conversation got dropped the moment Nicky’s accusations became dirty and Aaron got uncomfortable, but it was ultimately Wymack who waved everyone out of the kitchen and into the lounge instead.

Aaron and Kevin took up an armchair, with Aaron squished against the side, while Nicky and Neil found the double seater. Andrew occupied the floor by Neil’s feet and Wymack helped Abby pull through two dining table chairs to sit at instead to give the family their space. In the middle of their gathering stood the tree Aaron and his family helped to build up; he couldn’t stop staring. 

“Who wants to go first?” Abby asked, pointing out the small pile of presents at the bottom of the tree. Aaron’s hands twitched with the need to go forward but he held himself back, waiting for Nicky to put himself up instead. He waited for only a few seconds before someone nominated themselves to go first, but the voice didn’t come from Nicky and Aaron twisted his body around to look at Kevin instead.

“I said I’ll go first.” Kevin repeated, gently easing Aaron out of the way to make his way over to the pile of gifts. He pulled out the first parcel; blue with red ribbon and Kevin squinted a little to read the handwriting. Aaron knew it was his present, to Nicky, and motioned a hand over towards his cousin to save Kevin the ache of having to decipher his awful handwriting. Nicky looked flattered when he took the parcel from Kevin’s hands and opened it with absolutely no finesse, tearing the paper into about fourteen different pieces before finally unravelling the new playstation controller Aaron had scraped the cash for.

“Whoa!” Nicky beamed, holding the box up to see the colour of its skin in the light. “Is this… Is this purple?”

“Yeah.” Aaron shrugged. “I got it custom, so you can stop fucking stealing mine when you think I’m not looking.” 

Nicky batted his eyelashes. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Sure, you don’t.”

“Neil.” Kevin said, cutting their conversation short. Aaron frowned a little at the way Kevin was methodically pushing through all of the parcels, as if he had some sort of system going on in his head that mattered in any capacity. He saw him deliberately push aside one for himself, in favour of finding one for Abby. 

Neil waited until he realised that Kevin wasn’t going to be helpful in tossing his gift over the space between his body and the sofa, so he had to gently nudge Andrew into fetching it for him. They opened it together and Neil smiled at the patterned socks. Aaron looked away when Neil looked up, smiling at him.

When Abby saw that she had received a fancy candle set, Aaron’s face burnt up in realisation. The system that Kevin was executing was in gifting order, meaning that all of Aaron’s presents were going to be opened first. Wymack looked fond at his bottle of whiskey, despite knowing that the entire bottles’ contents would be used up tonight, and Andrew looked completely unbothered by his empty hands. It was humiliating in every way and when Kevin finally opened up a present of his own, it wasn’t from Aaron. 

The label said that it was, because Kevin turned to throw him a grin at the brand new wallet in his hands, but Aaron had nothing to do with that purchase. 

“How did you know?” Kevin laughed, the sound short and stunted but full of life nevertheless. Aaron swallowed, looked around the room and knew that Wymack was to blame by the way he wouldn’t meet his eyes. Aaron had to think on his toes, and fast.

“Your wallet is falling apart.” Aaron said quickly and Wymack looked impressed at his side. “You keep losing your change, so… S-So.”

“Thanks.” Kevin said, much too fondly, and turned his attention back to the pile of presents. Aaron sunk into his chair.

The next hour went by slowly; mostly because Kevin took his time in handing out the presents, but also because Abby was very interested in making everyone take part in civil conversation which, in all honesty, had not been too awful. The last year and a half had done wonders in mellowing everyone out and, while the Foxes weren’t perfect by any means, they could at least all sit together in the same room for longer than just a few minutes. Aaron considered that a success. 

“Aaron.” Kevin called and Aaron’s attention snapped up at the sound of his own name. A wrapped box was thrown his way and Aaron barely had enough time to register it before it hit him square in the chest. Inside was a box of hand sanitizers from Nicky; different scents for different occasions and Aaron couldn’t help how soft his expression felt with he examined each of their ingredient lists to see which would suit this season the best.

Andrew’s only presents were from Wymack and Kevin; one was alcohol and the other was a small bottle of cologne which had to be from Kevin, Aaron decided, because Andrew looked as pleased as he could be on the day of Christmas when he and Kevin made eye contact. Aaron tried desperately hard to push back the envy in his gut. 

The last present to be opened was from Andrew to Neil, and Kevin had (with surprising care) handed the box over to Neil when Andrew had taken a quick break to find something to drink in the kitchen. Aaron wasn’t sure if it was pre-planned or what, but Neil looked absolutely taken with the piece of tech in his hands.

“Is that a camera?” Nicky asked, eyes bugging out of his skull as curiosity took over him. 

Neil rolled the box around in his hands a few times before he lifted his gaze up to look towards the double doors into the kitchen. They could hear Andrew rummaging around in the cupboards for glasses and Neil waited for only a few seconds before he decided to just wait instead of seek him out. “I think so.” He said eventually. 

Nicky stood up to investigate the box with Neil and the pair of them managed to take the actual camera out from the box; it was a polaroid and Aaron was somewhat familiar with how they worked, although he had never seen one in person before. 

“Here.” Nicky said, holding his hands out. He messed around with the back of the camera and managed to open up the compartment for the film, which Neil handed over to him. Nicky snapped one photo of Neil and the two of them glowed when part of the film came out. “And now… I think you wave it?”

“Does that actually do anything?” Kevin asked.

“I don’t know, that’s just what they do in the movies.” Nicky grinned. “Can I take one of Andrew?” 

“No.” Neil murmured, snatching his camera from from Nicky, who gave it up easily. 

Andrew came back through at the sound of his own name with a glass in his hand. It was dark liquid, so Aaron assumed that he had found soda somewhere through the back. He watched his brother regard Neil for a long moment, glancing between his face and the camera in his lap, before finally taking his spot back by Neil’s feet. 

Aaron counted the presents by his side; five in total, which was four more than what he was expecting so he certainly wasn’t complaining. He felt the chair that he was sitting on dip with Kevin’s weight when he finally decided to return to his side, new wallet in hand, and Aaron watched as he played with the edges of the leather.

“Looks good.” Aaron commented, pleased with the quality despite not being the one actually holding it. Kevin handed it over and Aaron ran a finger down its smooth covering. “Is there enough space?”

“For all of my wads of cash?” Kevin joked, expression blank, but Aaron chuckled all the same. “Yeah. It’s perfect.”

“...” Aaron swallowed. “Kevin, I--”

“I know you didn’t buy this.” Kevin dropped the wallet down onto his lap. “Wymack and I saw it at the airport and he felt, I guess, a little guilty that no one had said to you I was coming.”

“I’m sorry--”

“Why?” Kevin rearranged their positions on the sofa until he managed to snake an arm over Aaron’s shoulder to pull him in close. “Don’t be. Just being next to you is more than enough. I don’t care about materialistic shit, any ways.”

“Is that why you didn’t get me anything?” Aaron tried to sound as playful as he could, but the words came out bitter and Kevin tensed up beside him.

“... I did.” Kevin leaned in close to whisper. “But I can’t give you it here.”

“Why not?” Aaron asked.

“Andrew might skin me alive, and there are way too many eyes here.” Kevin kissed the shell of Aaron’s ear. “Tonight.”

“Alright.” 

The rest of the morning was just as slow as the present unwrapping. Abby had to start making progress with the dinner preparations and Wymack decided to recruit Andrew and Kevin for the firewood cutting in the yard. The weather had since picked up since lunch and snow had started to fall fleetingly from the sky; there was enough to start building but not enough to halt any and all activity from happening in the garden.

It meant that Aaron, Nicky and Neil were forced to work in the kitchen together but there was enough space that Aaron and Neil only had to stomach one another for only a few minutes each time. Nicky was put in charge of the turkey with Abby, while Neil and Aaron were to set up the appetisers in time. 

Aaron wasn’t at all prepared for Neil to come into his space, but he really shouldn’t have been surprised with the way this entire Christmas period was going for him.

“Hey.” Neil said.

“Hello.” Aaron responded.

Neil glanced around and shuffled in a little closer when he realised that Nicky and Abby were absorbed in their own conversation at the other end of the kitchen. “I heard from Coach that Kevin really wasn’t going to show up until he found out you weren’t going to Vancouver with Katelyn.”

“Alright?” Aaron narrowed his eyes as he rolled smoked salmon. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I can tell that you’re still really angry with him.”

“I’m not sure what your angle here is, Josten.” Aaron grumbled. “Are you here to be a wingman? Trying to butter me up for him later on? We’re fine.”

“I know why you’re angry with him.” Neil said, as if he understood anything about Aaron. “I tried to think about if it were me and Andrew.”

“We.” Aaron spoke with venom. “Are not like you and Andrew.”

Aaron had long since given up trying to figure out the relationship between his brother and Neil. Almost two years down the line meant that there were a lot of things to be straightened out and absolutely none of it needed to be spared a second thought from Aaron. It didn’t change anything for him, apart from his freedom, and that was frankly all he cared about.

The way Neil stared at Aaron suggested that there was a lot more to their relationship that Aaron maybe picked up on, but to compare themselves to him and Kevin felt wrong. It felt intrusive.

“I’m trying to say that I might be frustrated, too.” Neil said and Aaron shook his head.

“No, you don’t get to understand, because you and Andrew will always be a weird thing nobody understands. People won’t point the finger or ask questions and, if they did, why would you two care?”

“You’re mad because Kevin doesn’t want you in the public eye.” Neil jabbed and Aaron froze. “You’re upset, because he tried to forget about you and you can’t forget about him, right?”

Aaron started rolling up another piece of salmon. “It seemed so easy for him.”

“Not as easy as he thought.” Neil murmured. “I know that communication isn’t your strong point--”

“Says you.”

Neil ignored Aaron. “But maybe it’s time to work on it.”

“Fuck off.”

“Captain’s orders.”

Aaron rolled and rolled fish until he was satisfied that he wouldn’t spin around and beat Neil’s face against the counter with rage. The weather then decided that the changing point in its behaviour would happen in the next ten minutes, so Andrew and Kevin made their grand return with Coach and firewood under their arms.

Andrew’s nose was red, as were his ears and he sneezed a couple of times while his body attempted to acclimatize with the warmth of the kitchen. Kevin looked a little less worn out from the cold, but his hands still shook and he barely reacted when Wymack helped him out of his jacket before hanging it up by the door.

“Close up!” Abby scolded them all as she stomped across the kitchen to shut and lock up the back door. She wasn’t fast enough; the entire room had filled up enough with the cold air from the outdoors that Aaron felt the hairs on his arm begin to rise. “Honestly, David, how many times do I need to remind you?”

“Being in the snow has a funny way of killing your central nervous system.” Andrew said, deadpan, as he toed off his shoes. He laughed and flexed his hands. “Hah. I can’t feel a thing.”

“Go warm up in the lounge.” Abby ordered. “Aaron, make some coffee.”

Aaron padded over to the sink and washed his hands with lukewarm water to get rid of the scent of smoked salmon. He felt Kevin come up behind him and moved out of the way so that he could douse his frozen fingers in alongside Aaron’s, but pulled away a couple of seconds later when he realised that the heat was doing nothing for him. 

“Abby said to sit down.” Aaron reminded him. Kevin considered Aaron for a moment before he shrugged with one shoulder and leaned himself back against the counter, opting to watch Aaron clean up instead. Aaron frowned and dried off his hands.

“I’d much rather do this.” Kevin spoke fluidly and Aaron tore himself away from Kevin to find the plug for Abby’s coffee machine before fishing out various mugs for everyone. Kevin found the coffee granules in a higher cupboard for Aaron and then pulled out the sugar for him as well while Aaron fetched the milk from inside the fridge. “You make the best coffee.”

“Flattery won’t get you very far.” Aaron tutted. 

“Can’t blame me for trying.”

“I’ll blame you as much as I want.”

Kevin twisted his body around so that he could get a hand on Aaron’s hip. He didn’t pull or tug at Aaron, choosing to rest there instead and Aaron couldn’t help the bubble of affection that built up inside of him at the realisation. He felt Kevin’s thumb as it began to stroke, pushing the fabric of Aaron’s shirt up with its ministrations until he could feel skin, but Aaron never forced himself away. 

“Have you warmed up yet?” Aaron asked.

“Somewhat.” Kevin leaned in to inhale Aaron’s cologne. “Warmer now that you’re here.”

Aaron batted Kevin away and whipped his head around to look through the kitchen; the room had since cleared out, leaving the pair of them alone and Aaron really didn’t remember hearing anybody leaving. 

“We never celebrated Christmas in the Nest.” Kevin said, suddenly. “My mother did, but I only remember maybe one or two before things get hazy.”

“Riko never wanted Christmas?”

“I guess they just don’t believe in it. Maybe it’s the… generosity, or the general humane feeling that comes with being together under one roof like this that scared them off each year. Jean and I gave each other presents, tiny ones, because it was hard to keep anything secret in there.”

“I can’t imagine.”

“You don’t want to.” Kevin decided then to pull Aaron in close. “Trust me.”

“So this is your…”

“Third, maybe fourth, proper Christmas.” Kevin confessed. 

“That you remember.”

“That I remember.” Kevin parroted. Aaron took advantage of being alone and spun around in Kevin’s arm to catch his face in both hands. He eased Kevin down and into a kiss before parting ways again to start making coffee. 

Everyone in the house had their own dedicated cups and Aaron tried his best to remember who took what in each. Kevin was as helpful as a blind man describing colour, so Aaron had to resort to poking his head through the double doors for a quick list off before returning back to the task at hand. In the end, everyone was happy and Aaron got to sit down again for a little while before the rush of finishing dinner. 

Abby let them relax for fifteen minutes, which was enough time to finish their drinks, or so Aaron thought. He had only made it through half of his cup before Abby ordered Neil and Aaron to come through and finish up the starters for the table.

A quick check of the clock told Aaron that it was only three in the afternoon; earlier than usual for dinner, but Aaron was wiser than to argue with Abby when he began setting out the table with her as Neil fussed around with the cutlery. 

His stomach growled when Aaron laid out the smoked hams and sauces. “Aw, shit, I forgot I haven’t eaten anything yet today.”

“You and Kevin must be starving.” Abby smiled. She didn’t kick up a fuss when Aaron stole a piece of melon while Neil wasn’t looking. “Hold on, sit down, I’ll get everyone through.”

Aaron sighed.


	4. Chapter 4

Aaron had felt his cellphone buzz halfway through dinner, but ignored its chime in favour of listening to one of Kevin’s stories about the Sirens. Aaron didn’t particularly care about how things worked in the pro leagues, but hearing Kevin talk with such passion and fire was worth setting aside his disinterest for longer than a few minutes. Even Nicky was fascinated. 

Kevin spoke about new drills, Texas and what it was like living under the same roof as your ex-girlfriend who still harboured bitterness over a year old break-up. Aaron snorted; Katelyn and he were as strong as ever and he couldn’t imagine being at such odds with her. That said, Aaron also realised that Kevin had altogether very poor taste and wondered how he even fitted into Kevin’s repertoire before deciding that it didn’t matter. 

His phone buzzed again, for the third time, and Aaron finally managed to excuse himself from the table once he realised Abby was starting to put dishes and pots away for cleaning. Nicky was quick to respond, as was Kevin, so Aaron took the opportunity to escape upstairs to respond to Katelyn.

He managed only a few lines of text before Andrew showed up.

“Such a hurry.” Andrew hummed, jamming his foot in the crack of the door to stop Aaron from closing himself in the room alone. “Where’s your family spirit?”

Aaron, honestly, didn’t mean to look so startled but Andrew had barely given him any time to school his expression before letting himself in. Andrew stood for a moment, in the centre of the room, before he turned to face the window instead of Aaron. His hands were in his pockets and Aaron could see that one of them were clenched into a fist even behind the fabric of Andrew’s jeans.

Andrew gestured at Aaron with a waved hand. “Go on, don’t let me stop you.”

“It’s just Katelyn.” Aaron said.

“I can wait.”

The confirmation that Andrew had followed him upstairs with more intent than to just annoy him left Aaron’s throat feeling tight and dry. He looked down into his lap and saw Katelyn’s messages; all of them good, none bad, so Aaron quickly sent out his few lines of texts to wish her the best for the rest of Christmas before he tossed his phone onto Kevin’s pillow. He wasn’t surprised to see Andrew standing in front of the window when he was done.

“Spit it out.” Aaron mumbled, with no heat, and Andrew turned to regard him for a second before he reached into his pocket to pull out a small, intricate box.

Aaron didn’t have to give it a second glance before a cold and anxious wave rushed over him at the sight of dark wood and beautiful, hand painted gold decorum. Aaron tried to open his mouth in an attempt to say something, anything, but the knowledge that Andrew was doing this alongside seeing his mother’s jewellery box was hurting his head. 

“I don’t understand.” Aaron croaked out. 

“I’ve had this since she died.” Andrew confessed. “I thought about burning it, throwing it into the ocean, but I would never go too close to the water.”

“Why?”

“Because she isn’t worth feeling a thing for.” Andrew spat out, but Aaron could see Andrew trying to keep himself calm. There were little signs that he was beginning to learn; the veins in Andrew’s arms would pop slightly through his bands and his eyebrows, although always furrowed, would tighten with stress. He was learning, because Neil was a good teacher and Bee was patient. 

Aaron isn’t stupid: he knew this wasn’t easy.

“No.” Aaron said, fingers digging into the bedsheets. “No, I meant, why are you doing this? Why now?”

“Why anything?” Andrew retorted. He threw the box at Aaron and didn’t spare another look to see if his brother had caught it in his hands before staring out the window again. “This is a stupid holiday, but I know it means something to you.”

“...” Aaron was wise to stay silent and opted to open up the tiny box instead. He wondered, for the few seconds that it took to unlatch the lid and peek inside, what he would see. 

Tilda wore many rings. Aaron remembered them for both their shine and their impact. He has a scar just under the left line of his jaw from where the gold casing of a cut diamond caught him in an unfortunate encounter, one of many, from six years ago. Aaron’s mother also sported many different types of earrings, most of them long enough to brush her shoulders, but Aaron never recalled any of them being particularly important to her. Lastly, Aaron remembered the heavy pendant she wore around her neck.

When Aaron opened the box, he swallowed, and pushed back every ounce of disappointment, which took him by surprise. “It’s empty.” He said, voice cracking.

Andrew cracked the window open and fished around in his pocket for a lighter and cigarette. “Yes.”

“Why did you give me an empty box?” Aaron tried not to sound angry. His aggression surprised even him and Aaron shook his head in an attempt to calm down. “Andrew, what the fuck?”

“I can take it back.” Andrew said coolly and Aaron took to holding it posessively against his chest. It was mostly for show; Andrew could snatch the jewellery box out from his hands with ease if he wanted to and Aaron, always the coward, would give in.

“No.” Aaron murmured. “No, I… Thank you.”

“No problem.” Andrew flicked his cigarette once and Aaron rolled the box from hand to hand. 

“... You never answered my question.”

“Why?” Andrew repeated after exhaling smoke. “Because I knew you were ready now.”

“It’s just a fucking box.” 

“You’ll find a use for it.” Andrew said distantly. 

Andrew stood in silence with his cigarette, leaving Aaron some peace to properly check his phone again. Katelyn had replied since his last message so Aaron spent the next couple of minutes trying to think of an answer that didn’t sound disinterested or busy; Katelyn seemed to be having a nice time, which was good, but Aaron’s own unease made reciprocating that same positivity difficult. If Katelyn minded, she didn’t say, and kept up her responses with ease. 

Aaron knew that his brother was done by the window when he heard the latch lock and looked up to watch Andrew cross the length of his room and found the door. He looked relaxed, but Aaron could still see the tight line of his brow but chose not to point out Andrew’s bad mood, it wouldn’t end well for either of them, and chose to follow Andrew out with his eyes until the door was shut back over. 

Flicking through his phone, Aaron hit call immediately.

’Hello?’

”Hey. Happy Christmas.”

’Oh, gods, I wasn’t expecting you to phone!’ Aaron could hear Katelyn’s family in the background, including her dogs, and then heard someone who sounded like her father calling after her before the sounds were drowned out by what he assumed to be a door closing. ’Sorry, sorry. It’s so busy here. How’re you? Oh, no, we’ve already spoken about that-- what are you up to?’

Aaron couldn’t help his small laugh. “I just escaped dinner.”

’You left everyone alone downstairs?’

“More like I made myself alone.”

Katelyn was silent for a moment. ’I hate that you do that to yourself.’

“You’ve met my family.” Aaron said. “You know how tiring they can be.”

’I suppose. How is Kevin?’

“Getting along well. He’s a lot calmer than he used to be. Who would have thought; a few months in normal company and he’s chilled out.” Aaron’s sarcasm dripped with every word.

’I suppose us Foxes and Vixens leave a lot to be desired when it comes to good company.’ Katelyn giggled. ’He sent me a message this morning, wishing me a good day. Did you tell him to do that?’

“No.”

’Oh!’ Aaron could hear Katelyn’s smile through the phone. ’Oh, he is a surprising sweetheart, isn’t he?’

“He’s spending a lot of time with Coach and Abby.” Aaron started playing with his fingers and perched his phone against his ear and shoulder. “Things feel really different, but I can’t really explain why. He’s distant, but close and around, but not. I can’t really figure out how I feel about the entire situation.”

’With Kevin, or with Christmas in general?’

“This is the first time in years where it’s really felt like Christmas.” Aaron confessed and Katelyn sighed. “How’re your dads?”

’Getting along. There hasn’t been a single fight and everyone has been behaving themselves really well, so far. Oh! And Alice showed up.’

“Your sister?”

’Yeah… Oh, Aaron, it’s so nice to see everyone again, it almost feels like before.’

Aaron smiled. He pulled his phone away while Katelyn was talking to gently tap the video camera setting and waited patiently for Katelyn to take a pause in her story to answer; her entire face lit up the screen and Aaron felt his expression soften considerably at the sight of her done up eyes and curly hair. 

“Wow.” Aaron said, resting his phone up where he could talk hands free as Katelyn did the same. “You look different.”

’Is it too much? I really wanted to look good this year. Alice got me some new make-up from New York so, you know, I had to try it and I mean, what better excuse than Christmas!’

“That indeed.”

’Is that your shirt?’ Katelyn asked, absolutely knowing that, no, this was not his shirt and Aaron pulled the collar in closer to his neck in an attempt to shield his all-over blush. ’Nevermind. Oh, hey, I have to tell you something.’

“Alright.”

Katelyn shuffled around in the camera frame and suddenly looked smaller, curled in on herself, and Aaron knew her well enough to know when she feels anxious. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and tried looking up at her phone through lashes and Aaron wanted to reach out and touch her.

“Go on.” Aaron urged. 

’I met some of the guys from Carl’s work yesterday.’ Katelyn whispered. ’There’s someone called Sean. He’s really nice.’

“I bet you have a type.“ Aaron forced his lips into a smile. “Show me.” 

He watched as he got the message for photos being sent and Aaron was right when he said she had a type. He looked a little taller than Katelyn herself, and Sean had darker hair than him but his general build and fashion sense wasn’t too far off. Sean didn’t look like anything out of a magazine, but the one thing that did catch Aaron’s eyes was that he was masculine, with broader shoulders and big hands to hold Katelyn down with. He opened his mouth to say something, but Katelyn cut him off.

’We just met.’ Katelyn panicked. ’But he is nice and I do think he’s handsome. I guess we’ll see? He said he might visit tomorrow.’

“Cool. let me know how it goes.”

Katelyn looked shocked that Aaron had seemingly given in to the news so easily. Aaron understood why, but seeing Katelyn almost in disbelief of Aaron’s acceptance was a little frustrating; she had done so much for him, his sexuality and Kevin that it felt almost ridiculous that she wouldn’t expect the same support back. 

Aaron could hear everyone moving around the house. His bedroom was located above the lounge, so when the doors separating the kitchen from the lounge were opened, sound spilled out and Aaron knew it was time to hang up before someone, probably an impatient Nicky, came up to find him. Katelyn must had sensed this too, because she started fiddling with her phone until it was back in her hands.

’I should go.’ She said and Aaron rested his chin in a hand. ’It’s time for dessert.’

“And then the party?” Aaron grinned. “Have one for me.”

’Are you not drinking?!’ Katelyn gasped, covering her mouth, but her laugh spilled through and Aaron let his own chuckle filter out.

“Of course I am. That’s probably why everyone’s moved downstairs.”

’Well, don’t let me keep you waiting. Go have fun, Aaron…’ Katelyn sighed, her smile sweet and Aaron felt his heart clench painfully. ’Merry Christmas.’

“Merry Christmas.”

Aaron was the first to hang up and he was left staring at the home screen of his phone; clean, organised but strangely cold. His timing was fantastic however and the door into his bedroom creaked open. Nicky gave him a quick thumbs up before speaking.

“You… Coming down? Who was that?” Nicky asked.

Aaron scratched his nose and stuffed his phone down a pocket. “Just Katelyn.”

“How’s she doing?”

“She’s found someone.” Aaron said quickly, standing up. He pushed past Nicky’s body in the doorway and headed for the stairs. 

Nicky followed. “Oh, no shit? They a thing?”

“Not yet.” Aaron mumbled. The door into the lounge was open and Aaron snuck his way into the room without being noticed.

Neil and Kevin were sharing a chair, both peering into what Aaron knew was Kevin’s laptop and he didn’t have to ask to know exactly what they were doing. Judging by the way Neil’s eyes were wide with wonder, it couldn’t have been anything but highlights from Kevin’s professional team. Kevin’s own expression was stern, calculative, and Aaron thought they might have been his own highlights; there was no one on earth Kevin was more critical of than himself. 

“You can sit next to me.” Andrew said suddenly. Aaron looked over to where his brother was situated on one of the dining room chairs that Wymack and Abby had pulled through. The two adults were in the kitchen with the drinks and Nicky had padded through to help them some time ago, leaving Aaron satelliting the living space or perching up next to Andrew.

He decided to risk being beside his brother and joined him in watching the room. 

Hours passed by and, when Nicky and the adults came through with alcoholic drinks, the evening went along much smoother. Their positions in the room all shifted around as time went on; Andrew and Neil ended up on the sofa together and Kevin swapped seats with Andrew to be close to Wymack and Abby. Nicky shared the double sofa with Aaron and they were talking about not very much; there wasn’t anything new to say to someone you shared most of your time with, so Aaron humoured Nicky by listening to his stories about what he and Erik got up to in their last skype call.

When he checked the clock, Aaron realised that it was getting closer to midnight and that Erik would be up for work very soon. It took only another twenty minutes for Nicky to get the message that Erik was awake and he looked coyly up at Aaron.

“Do you mind if I..?” Nicky asked and Aaron waved a hand. “Thanks! You’re the best!”

Aaron watched as Nicky swooped up Kevin’s laptop from the side table without permission before disappearing into the kitchen. He had left the door open, probably in lieu of keeping the family close, and Aaron could see him positioning himself at the table and checking the frame in the webcam. 

Aaron drummed his fingers against a knee. When he checked his phone for something to do, there was nothing, and when he checked his social media there was still nothing, so Aaron resorted to standing up and moved his way around the room to find the cushioned window sill behind the Christmas tree. It gave him some privacy while still being with everyone and his position at the window meant that he could see everything happening around him; the room, his family and the snow falling outside. 

It was dark and Aaron focused his attention on the way the orange glow illuminated sheets of white along the street. There were a few tire tracks, maybe from only two or three cars, and they had been the only indication that there was ever a road between the row of houses on either side. Aaron touched the glass and felt himself chilled to the bone at the difference in temperature; he would surely freeze if Wymack suddenly decided they needed more firewood, but Aaron wasn’t sure if he would pass up the offer if asked. 

When the snow got too boring to watch for another moment, Aaron turned back to face into the house. He noticed, then, that everyone had their own little corners picked out. Abby was in the kitchen with Nicky to say hello to Erik, which was bizarre, which she had little to no reason to be so involved in that relationship, and Kevin had occupied Wymack with some conversation serious enough to make both of the expressions grave. Aaron didn’t want to see what Andrew and Neil were up to, but when he did cast his gaze over them they were doing nothing more than sitting together in, what looked like, comfortable silence. To the untrained eye, Andrew looked like he was napping, but Neil was too wriggly for even Aaron to notice for that to be true. Aaron didn’t realise that he had been picking at his nails, but the skin around them were red and sore. 

Seeing everyone in their pairs caused an uneasy and queasy feeling to settle in his gut. A strange longing, Aaron realised, as he stared and stared. Aaron felt his expression threading so tightly together that he would be shocked if nobody were to notice his obvious discomfort upon first glance, so he worked to school his face and opted to stare down at his blank phone screen instead. 

Still nothing. Aaron toyed with the idea of phoning Katelyn again. He could handle being alone for all of five minutes before he finally gave up and took the opportunity with everyone so distracted to slip back upstairs. He thought that he might have caught Kevin’s eye when leaving the room, but he didn’t stand around to wait and see if anybody would follow. 

Aaron walked past his bedroom door and headed straight for Abby’s room. The balcony doors were as big and grand as always and Aaron tested them for a moment before realising they were locked. He fished the key out from the bedside table and opened the doors up wide enough for his body to push through and onto the balcony.

He was right; the air outside was baltic, but Aaron leaned over the barrier any ways to stare out into the dark emptiness of South Carolina. From here, he could hear nothing but the gentle whistling of the wind and soft bass from another house’s party. In just his sweater and a pair of jeans, the cold bit ferociously at Aaron’s skin, but he found the affliction to be strangely comforting and cleansing. Grounding, even. 

“I always like coming up here.” Aaron’s head snapped around at the sound of Kevin’s voice. He felt the taller male coming in behind him, and stood up straight when he knew that Kevin was against his back. Aaron didn’t argue or complain when strong arms wrapped around him; the warmth was welcomed and Kevin knew this. “Usually when I want to be alone.”

“Is that why you think I’m here?” Aaron asked, cuddling into thick arms. 

“I know why you’re here.” Kevin murmured. “And it isn’t just so you could be alone. You were already alone downstairs.”

“...” Aaron sighed and sunk further back into Kevin. “Nice of you to notice.”

“I wasn’t ignoring you.”

“I know.”

“But I’m sorry for ignoring you.”

“...”

Aaron felt Kevin lean down to kiss the back of his neck, but Aaron stopped his movements by turning around in his arms and reached up to cup both of Kevin’s cheeks. Their kisses were soft, tentative, but when Aaron started pushing at Kevin’s chest to force him back into the house, they grew heated and needy. The barely remembered to lock the balcony doors between their groping hands and occupied mouths, and Kevin dropped the key a couple of times before finally latching the lock, but once finally freed of their responsibilities the pair of them hurried into the privacy of their own room

Kevin picked Aaron up and threw him onto the bed, eliciting a groan and giggle from Aaron before he felt his entire body being enveloped by Kevin’s mass. Hands found hair and Aaron’s back arched when Kevin’s teeth began nipping lines down his throat until they nibbled insistently at the collarbones peeking out from the neckline of his shirt. “Gods.” Aaron moaned, fingernails dragging down Kevin’s ears and jaw as he guided him down the length of his body to find the hem of Aaron’s sweater. “Kevin…”

“I’ve got you…” Kevin whispered, testing the waistband of Aaron’s jeans. He unbuttoned them, carefully, and started pulling the tight fabric down his legs; Aaron knew that there was no graceful or sexy way to strip off a pair of skinny pants, but Kevin somehow made it look so easy as he left Aaron there in nothing but his sweater and briefs. A hand found its way to Aaron’s crotch and Kevin felt so much warmer than the heat in his core. “What do you want?”

“I…” Aaron trailed off and Kevin started rolling his palm. 

“Tell me what you want, baby.” Kevin urged, kissing with his tongue and teeth along the skin of Aaron’s thighs. Aaron felt dumb and couldn’t string together the right words to be able to communicate his needs, his desires, across to Kevin without feeling like his mouth was full of cotton. 

Aaron wondered if Kevin sometimes knew Aaron better than he knew himself, because Kevin’s hands were so gentle when they pushed the leg of Aaron’s briefs aside to lick up a line over him. Aaron felt his leg twitch and move in an attempt to find somewhere to perch itself on and settled on Kevin’s shoulder to pull him in closer. He grinded up into Kevin’s mouth and gasped when he felt Kevin bite down on his clit. 

“Oh, god.” Aaron said, panting. “H-Harder.”

Kevin obeyed and Aaron’s back arched beautifully into the touch. Kevin managed to get three fingers curling inside of Aaron before the younger twin barked out impatiently and his hands reached down to pull Kevin up to mash their lips together in a messy kiss. Aaron could taste himself on Kevin’s tongue, but he didn’t care as their teeth clicked with the ferocity of their kisses, and used his hands to pull Kevin out from his own jeans before slicking him up with Aaron’s own wetness. He used his hand at first, but then decided to hold Kevin steady against the slick of his lips and ground down on him with as much vigor as he could before Kevin cried out and pinned Aaron’s hands above his head.

“That isn’t fair.” Kevin groaned and Aaron purred, still rolling his hips over Kevin’s cock.

“Then fuck me.” Aaron whispered, hooking a leg around the small of Kevin’s back and pulled him in enough to slip inside. They gasped in unison, but only Aaron was shaking. “Oh, fuck. Fuck.”

“You’re tight…” 

“C’mon…” Aaron urged, perching himself up high enough on his elbows to kiss Kevin as he slid in deep enough for them both to moan into each other’ mouths. “R-Right there… Fuck, you feel… You feel so good.”

“Aaron...”

Aaron got a hand and rested it gently on the nape of Kevin’s neck. “I missed this.”

“I missed you.” Kevin added quietly and Aaron let their mouths touch again. His nails tickled the back of Kevin’s neck and left the pit of his stomach feeling warm with affection. 

“Feelings later.” Aaron whispered. “I want to get fucked within an inch of my life--”

Kevin delivered and Aaron yelped before Kevin managed to slap a hand over Aaron’s mouth to shut him up. They were both suddenly hyper aware of the movement downstairs, but Aaron kept his hand steady on Kevin’s neck and Kevin kept his hips grinding at a steady pace that they both soon forgot about their fellow housemates for the next fifteen minutes.

Kevin fucked like he did everything else in his life; with precision and determination. Aaron kept his noises to a minimum, but every breath sounded ragged and worn-out, and Kevin wanted nothing more than to keep pulling those noises out from Aaron’s throat. Every little whimper was a win and every, tiny stifled moan was a victory worth millions in Kevin’s book.

Kevin gave Aaron little warning when he spilled deep in Aaron’s gut, and Aaron did nothing but fuck his way to his own orgasm when Kevin was spent and sensitive; grinding, bumping and rubbing himself to completion whether or not Kevin was in pain. If Kevin cared, he didn’t move to stop Aaron and urged him to sit up on his lap instead to kiss away their shared afterglow. 

After what felt like their twentieth kiss, Aaron finally pulled away and pushed his hair out from his eyes. “... Sorry, about your jeans.” He said, realising that his bare body was sat on the fabric of Kevin’s (very expensive) pants. He wasn’t surprised to see their cum mixed in the stitching and Kevin rubbed it into the fabric, which made Aaron’s face screw up.

“It’s fine.” Kevin laughed. He kissed Aaron again and man handled him until they were lying down together in the bed sheets. Kevin tucked himself into his pants and then protectively bundled Aaron up in whatever blankets he could find to shield his naked lower body from prying eyes. “Hey.”

Aaron glanced up at Kevin through his lashes. 

“Wait here.” Kevin said. Aaron thought that it must have taken all of Kevin’s strength to pull himself out of bed, because he groaned with the effort of moving. Aaron observed in silence as Kevin walked across the room to find his bag. 

He started rummaging around to find something and, when he did, he hid it behind his back before turning to watch Aaron from the corner of the room.

Aaron sat up. “What?”

“I, uh…”

“Come here.” Kevin did, but only because Aaron beckoned him with his finger. He got in close enough for Aaron to grab a hold of his waist and stood still in his hands until Aaron tried sneaking around to grab whatever was in Kevin’s hand. “What’re you doing?”

“This…” Kevin, finally, showed Aaron what was in his hand. The box was small, unassuming, and Aaron didn’t think anything of it until Kevin popped the lid open and he realised that its content wasn’t nothing at all.

Inside was a ring: a tiny thing, with little detail beyond the black line through the middle of the ring, framed by a brilliant silver before its steel base. Aaron kept staring at it and the longer it took Aaron to say something, the more nervous Kevin got. 

“Please say something.” Kevin begged.

“I think it’s you who should say something.” 

“This isn’t a proposal.” Kevin panicked and Aaron sharpened his eyes. “It’s a promise.”

“...” Aaron watched as Kevin slipped the ring over his finger. “Kevin—“

“I know how it looks.” Kevin said quickly. “And you can say no—“

“I don’t want to.”

Kevin looked dumbfounded. 

“I mean—“ Aaron corrected himself. “I don’t want to say no.”

“Okay.” Kevin smiled. “I’m… I was serious about Chicago.”

“I’m struggling to believe you.” Aaron sighed. “I want to, but this—“

“I’ve been a shit boyfriend the last few months.” Kevin admitted, taking both of Aaron’s hands into his own to squeeze. “I love you. I don’t know how to make it up to you, but I will try, if you will let me.”

Aaron blinked. He studied Kevin’s expression and hoped it would give away true intentions but when he came up with nothing, Aaron swallowed. There was nothing but genuinity in Kevin’s demeanour, his voice and his eyes; seeing the usually stoic athlete so open and vulnerable caused Aaron’s small brain to feel stunted. Aaron played with his sleeves anxiously; pulled them down over his fingers before letting go for the fabric to bounce, only to repeat that same motion over and over again until Kevin finally grew tired of waiting out the silence.

“Well?” He asked, expression softening a little with his nerves. Kevin went from looking understandably nervous to downright upset the longer Aaron stretched the moment and, usually, Aaron had no problem with finding his tongue but having Kevin right before him in such a tense context was… Well, it was a lot.

“I don’t know.” Aaron finally settled on. His heart did leaps and Aaron was surprised when it didn’t jump out of his throat. “I’m just scared that everything will repeat itself after New Year, and you’ll leave when you finally realise you don’t actually want or need me.”

Kevin bit his lip. “It’ll be tough. I mean, the next few months will be really tough, but you’ll graduate and we can find our place in Chicago. I want to be with you, Aaron, I’m just not to used to--”

“Balancing.” Aaron whispered as he turned the ring on his finger to examine its craftsmanship; the ring was beautiful. “Exy and other things. I know. I knew what I was getting myself into, Kev.”

“Then take another chance on me.” Kevin sounded determined. “I can’t imagine being with anyone else. No one knows me like you do, and no one cares to want to know me like you do.”

“I’m sure that isn’t true--”

“There won’t be anyone else who understands me like you do, because we know each other and we know all the shit in each others’ lives. Aaron.” Kevin swallowed the lump in his throat. “I’m in love with you. All of you. I want you.”

“... Okay.” Aaron whispered. His eyes dropped down to study the ring again and, when the sudden anxiety was pushed back deep into the trenches of Aaron’s mind, he braved looking into Kevin’s eyes again. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay, I want this.” Aaron murmured. “I want you, too.”

Kevin studied Aaron as he slipped the ring from his finger before placing it atop his mother’s jewellery box on the bedside table. The ring sparkled in the soft light of their room and Aaron tugged the blankets up closer to his body when Kevin took his space back in the bedsheets; between Aaron and the wall. 

Aaron sighed, the sound soft and affectionate, when Kevin gently pulled him back to lie down and against his front and Aaron allowed himself to be held like that: protectively, from behind, with Kevin’s breath tickling the back of his neck. 

“I love you.” Aaron whispered, the sound barely there, but loud enough for Kevin to just hear if he strained enough. 

Kevin squeezed his waist and Aaron fell asleep there, in the warmth of Kevin’s body behind him and the comfort of his future at his front.


End file.
